Meet Daddy Jekyll

From the title, you probably are thinking "what could he mean?  Is he not being the nice daddy that he ought to be?"  Well, let me explain.

Last night was a rough night...so it pretty much goes without saying that this morning was rough as well.  Gianna was up several times, as was I, holding her and trying to help her get back to sleep.  Other dads out there may understand the frustration of holding a child screaming at the top of their lungs at night, especially when there is no other noise to be heard.  I endured my fair share last night, that's for sure.  Sometimes when I am up with her at these wee hours, it's like I am partially in a dream, and last night's experience was really weird.  For some reason I thought Gianna had the power of three European countries (I believe they were Germany, Italy, and Spain).  So, being in my half-sleep mode, I thought that the more I bounce her, the more chance I had of defeating her power.  This may sound like I was actively thinking all of this, but I believe it all happened within a matter of less than a minute.  Soon after bouncing and rocking Gianna, she fell sound asleep.  I realized, as my wife mentioned, that I was nuts.  I put Gianna back in her crib, but shortly after, she again awoke.  Lauren came to the rescue, and I plunged my head into the pillow.

With that craziness out of the way, I awoke early to the sounds of a fussy pumpkin next to me in bed.  Lauren was off to work and I was left to care for our little sunshine until mommy returned in the afternoon.  The morning was not so pleasant, since both dad and baby were not in the best of moods.  It is like we were challenging each other to see who could get the most upset.  But after the noon hour, things improved and with the return of Lauren from work, both dad and baby were blissful again. So, why the Daddy Jekyll title?  I think I suffer from Dr. Jekyll syndrome.  During those early morning hours when I am half-asleep, I seem to be a completely different person.  I get frustrated easily, and I feel that Gianna is crying as loud as she can on purpose just to make me mad.  But, I know it is me and not her.  After talking over this "Dr. Jekyll syndrome" with a good priest, I now realize that I can take those difficult moments and turn them into prayer opportunities.  It is a great way to give myself more fully to God and not think so much about myself.  Hopefully I can eventually say "bye-bye forever, Dr. Jekyll!"

I want to end by thanking God for our priest, for my wife who shows so much patience and gentleness at night, and for Gianna, who without her I would not have a reason to pray at 2 o'clock in the morning.  Have a grace-filled Wednesday, everyone!